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MG MGA - morning chuckle

We've all seen this before, but I still got a chuckle out of it this morning. Thought I'd share it.

Fred

The Lucas motto: "Get home before dark."

Lucas denies having invented darkness. But they still claim "sudden,
unexpected darkness"

Lucas--inventor of the first intermittent wiper.

Lucas--inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.

The three-position Lucas switch--DIM, FLICKER and OFF. The other three
switch settings--SMOKE, SMOLDER and IGNITE.

The original anti-theft devices--Lucas Electric products.

"I've had a Lucas pacemaker for years and have never experienced any prob...

If Lucas made guns, wars would not start either.

Did you hear about the Lucas powered torpedo? It sank.

It's not true that Lucas, in 1947, tried to get Parliament to repeal
Ohm's Law. They withdrew their efforts when they met too much resistance.

Did you hear the one about the guy that peeked into a Land Rover and
asked the owner "How can you tell one switch from another at night,
since they all look the same?" "He replied, it doesn't matter which one
you use, nothing happens!"

Back in the '70s Lucas decided to diversify its product line and began
manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they offered
which didn't suck.

Quality Assurance phoned and advised the engineering guy that they had
trouble with his design shorting out. So he made the wires longer.

Why do the English drink warm beer? Lucas made the refrigerators, too.

Alexander Graham Bell invented the Telephone.
Thomas Edison invented the Light Bulb.
Joseph Lucas invented the Short Circuit.

Recommended procedure before taking on a repair of Lucas equipment:
check the position of the stars, kill a chicken and walk three times
sunwise around your car chanting: "Oh mighty Prince of Darkness protect
your unworthy servant."

Lucas systems actually uses AC current; it just has a random frequency.
Fred H

Thanks for that Fred - it made me laugh and will make a good article in our West Lancs club newsletter (www.westlancsmg.co.uk). Can I quote your name in any ensuing lawsuit? Cheers Cam
Cam Cunningham

Lucas never made light bulbs, the made dark suckers, that's why old lightbulbs are black, there full of dark.
John H

Never let the smoke escape from inside the wires/
Martyn
Martyn Dunn 1

I've read somewhere

Joseph Lucas - The Prince of Darkness

Terry
Terry Drinkwater

This thread was discussed between 02/03/2006 and 04/03/2006

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